The Beacon: 2023 10/1

Considering my innermost feelings, I face a harsh truth: helplessness. This realization makes me admit my vulnerability, as my heart feels like delicate glass, ready to shatter with the gentlest touch. Although this realization is scary and unsettling, it's also brutally honest.

The fact that my daughter is no longer with us is an unchangeable truth I must confront. This knowledge feels like a heavy weight on my heart, causing unbearable pain. Despite my desire to ease the burden of grief that affects me, my husband, our family, and our friends, I can't mend the broken pieces of my heart.

However, within this sea of helplessness, a glimmer of hope shines—a dawn born from unwavering faith and unbreakable resilience, leading me to rely on God's boundless grace and mercy. This glimmer is a light that stems from trust in God's goodness, believing that my brokenness acts like a prism, allowing divine light to shine through my imperfections.

The metaphor of fragile glass jars profoundly speaks to me. I see myself in these fragile containers, housing something sacred within. But it's crucial to recognize that my strength doesn't solely come from my human limitations. It originates from a divine power that surrounds me. Despite facing life's challenges, I stand firm, never wholly shattered. It reminds me I can endure, even when the path is unclear.

The uncertainty of the future can be paralyzing, but as I navigate this journey, I'm not alone. The comforting knowledge that God is with me during these challenging times becomes my anchor. It reminds me that even if I stumble and fall, I possess the inherent ability to stand up again, shaking off the weight of hopelessness and moving forward.

During moments of vulnerability, I rely on the unwavering support of my family and friends. Their capacity for compassion, empathy, shared experiences, and affection forms the foundation of my strength, helping me carry the heavy burden of my grief.

As I navigate the complex mix of emotions that come with grief, loss, peace, and hope, I realize that embracing vulnerability is part of being human. Through our brokenness, healing light can find its way in. While I may feel fragile, within me burns the enduring flame of resilience and the ability to find comfort in faith, even in the face of life's most heart-wrenching trials.

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