The Beacon: 2023 06/25

No child grows up in the SAME household because adding another child CHANGES the family dynamics. So does the subtraction…

The absence of Texa is a profound loss that we all feel in our unique way. Jerry, I, and those who have watched Texa grow alongside us and share genuine love are all experiencing her absence.

A family cannot be reduced to a mere sum of its individual members. It is not a straightforward mathematical calculation that can be solved on a chalkboard or debated during mealtime conversation. Instead, a family is a multifaceted blend of personalities, relationships, abilities, and limitations that significantly impact one another. Combining one person with another result in two distinct individuals with unique traits and characteristics.

In the past, Jerry often made light-hearted comments that we were a perfect family of three. Our bond was strong; we could tackle every obstacle and challenge as a cohesive unit. The foundation of our family was built upon love and virtue, which created a sense of stability and unwavering strength.

Our beloved Texa meant everything to us. She embodied our happiness, love, and fulfillment. Every moment with her was cherished deeply. Our last monumental challenge as a family was saying our final goodbyes to Texa, who represented everything to us and whose loss was an earth-shattering blow.

Our family has been diminished by the loss of more than one person. We have lost the unique relationship each of us had with her. We have lost the added strength that those relationships brought to our daily lives. As a result, there are now huge, gaping holes everywhere that we have attempted to fix but seem impossible to repair. Coping with the nightmare of Texa's absence in our home is an excruciating daily nightmare we struggle to confront.
Texa was the glue that held our family together. She is the member that strengthened our family. She made my husband, and I strive to be our best. Her presence was cherished by both my husband and me.

My memory of the day that our newborn arrived is still vivid in my mind. Our friends rejoiced, and our lives became vibrant as we watched Texa grow in our arms. Joy and enthusiasm abounded, and we were forever grateful for this precious gift from God.

The constant shedding of tears has left my eyes weary. I have experienced raw pain so deep that words fail to describe their intensity, no matter how vividly they are painted. The passing of Texa has brought us no comfort except for the consoling embrace of Christ and the affectionate support of those who hold us dear.

Numerous individuals have urged us to acknowledge it as divine intervention. Indeed, we do believe it is an act of his all-knowing power. Still, it is hard to come to terms with the fact that Texa is no longer present at the dining room table, accompanying us to church, hastily leaving for her early morning swim practice, recounting the excitement of her day, and moving about the house with joy. The reality of her absence is difficult to assimilate.

The absence of something cannot be felt if it was never present, to begin with. However, Texa's presence in our home and minds has made her absence palpable. A profound emptiness now fills the space she once occupied, and no number of words can adequately express the dept of this void.

Long-term loss is an enduring grief that cannot be expressed in words.
If only we could change the course of time and start over again, how different things might be!

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